Fun Things to Do at Wal-Mart
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling
them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals
throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can
get to join.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all
the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly,
especially in thin aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official
tone, "I think we've got a code 3 in housewares,"
and see what happens.
11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them
off and turn the volume up to full blast.
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I
haven't seen you in so long." etc. See if they play
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask
yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this
15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you
are taking it for a test drive.
17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet
behind them. Do this until they leave the store.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire
store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner,
look mesmerized and say, "Wow, magic!"
20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return
it and when they say you didn't buy it there say "Hmmmm....I
thought the customer was always right!"
21. Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others
you will only invite them in if they bring pillows from
Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around
saying, "I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello"
29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry
and say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between
them yelling "Red Rover."
31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there
are any in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples)
32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale
battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.
33. Take bets on the battle from above.
34. Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics.
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly
ask the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct
me to your Twinkies."
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of
42. Two words: Marco Polo.
43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet
44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's.
45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look
with various funnels.
46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look
at something, quickly make off with it without saying a
47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop
to your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices
49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax.
Go to the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you
don't get out much and ask if they can put a little umbrella
1. Attempt to do all of the above in the same visit, without
getting kicked out.
2. Try to hold up customers with the toy guns. See how
much you can make.